Tammy
Shed a wee tear reading that - you are in a very diffcult position.
Not to sure how much advice I can give but a few points would be -
1 - Try not focus on the past - it cannot be changed though it can hurt us very much.
2 - Try and focus on the future - this is unwritten - anything is possible.
3 - Clearly things need to change - perhaps a dramatic change is required.
4 - Your other half sounds like a deeply selfish person and is dragging you down to the point of stealing your happiness, perhaps it is time to leave!
Many on JWN have dealt with similar situations - but have lived to tell the happy ending. You need to decide not to accept the current situation and start making moves to alter things for the good. It cannot be allowed to continue as it is.
May God bless you with wisdom.
The Scotsman